Things you’ll only understand if you had a sheltered upbringing

The importance of Urban Dictionary

This far into uni you’ve probably realised getting the app is a good idea instead of constantly opening chrome and searching a word, only to find UD was of course the last thing you used on your phone. Group chats are flooded with lingo your innocent self has never seen before, but thank the lord for this trustworthy app always translating for you and help you make people think you really know what you’re doing at uni.

Sometimes the things we love cannot always save us

FOMO

Surprisingly, most northerners aren’t aware of this word existing, and explaining what it means gives self-content northerners the impression you’re a loner and/or over-thinker. Unfortunately for the ones who are only just seeing the world for what it is, the eagerness to explore everything is prominent to the extent you’ll go out the night before an exam but not regret it at all. Whilst Amy from Salford decides to have a night in to save funds and work on a history deadline, you just can’t resist the temptation of going to Heebies for the second time this week despite knowing you will go the week after this, and the week after, then the week after that.

“This isn’t a phase, mum. It’s who I am”

The phases you’d see people go through in Sixth Form- trying out a new hairstyle, leading a promiscuous life, getting piercings or tattoos, etc. All of these phases await you and/or you've already ticked a few off the list. However, nobody at this age gives a fuck about your haircut or what you get up to in your free time. Damn.

Sorry dad

The amount of illicit activities your school and family raised you to avoid all seemed unlikely to ever cross paths with, but then you came to uni

You try to act normal when people around you discuss their experiences of drugs, or more importantly hide your surprise when you see people drinking vodka and red bull. Wasn’t it always a complete no-no to mix energy drinks with spirits? Do people not read labels?
Wait never mind this drink is delicious.

Having a drink with more vodka than red bull counts as moderation, right mum?

When you return home you realise how much you’ve changed

If everyone else in your group are taking gap years, the power of being the wisest player is a magical feeling. Whilst they’re going to have a cringey sing-song around a campfire in Brisbane and take indie Instagram-worthy pictures to cover up their worries of how they’re going to afford their next meal, you can proudly say you’ve finally explored more of the real world than them. Just to put this into perspective, imagine arriving to uni with a Sony Experia in a leather flip case and returning home with an Iphone 7 in a marble Etsy case.

The ones who find your innocentness hilarious rather than annoying are the beloved ones to answer all your questions. Chances are you'll be called a gimp, so you'll probably have to use Urban Dictionary to work out what that means too.