‘I watched him play Xbox in his room’: These are Liverpool’s most horrific dating stories

Most of us at uni have experimented with dating, and whether you love it or loath it, it makes for some good stories. Maybe you’ll have the night of your dreams, maybe you’ll meet your soulmate…or maybe you’ll have the worst night of your life. Who knows? It’s all part of the dating fun! What’s not to love?

With Christmas done and dusted, and Valentine’s Day rears its ugly head, it’s cold, you’re miserable, tired, stressed… and single. Could it be worse you ask? Yes. Yes, it really could. We asked Liverpool (anonymously of course) for their worst dating stories and you didn’t let us down.

‘Her ex was our waiter, didn’t hear anything after the date, and they got back together after’

This one’s a classic. Down in the dumps about ordering Deliveroo for one? At least you don’t have to fear your very own waiter stealing your date.

‘He asked me to meet his mum and I said no so he took another girl’

Hope his mum reads this x

‘Asked a girl out on a date, she wanted to pick the place and took me to her ex’s house’

I’m not sure there are any words I can say to make this one better.

‘This boy left out the fact he had a baby […] and he decided to tell me in the middle of Shindie’

Ooops… guess he just kinda… forgot?

‘Told me on the first date the percentage chance of our children having my eyes/hair’

Always good to plan ahead. Just like, maybe not that far. Good to know he can do maths though.

‘My ex when I was 16 left me, stole my fake ID, went back to Mexico and used it to buy drugs…he only took the fake ID which was weird’

HAD to get more info on this… “it’s all good now he’s got a girlfriend in Mexico”… all water under the bridge then right?

‘The guy waited until mid-meal to ask ‘abortion, thoughts?’ turns out he was VERY pro-life’

General advice for first dates: keep the convo light and… politics-free.

‘Cried in the shower after one’

All part of the experience right?

‘Had a girl on a first date trip and throw a whole milkshake all over me’

At least you can say she literally fell for you?

‘I couldn’t open the ketchup sauce packet at a date and I eventually did it and it splattered all over her and me’

Can’t explain why this is so funny but just picturing it in my head. No second date I presume.

‘He picked me up one hour late, handed me a beer and the date was: watching him play Xbox in his room’

Romance? Not dead.

‘I dated the loveliest guy all summer… fizzled out when he went abroad and a month later got a message from a girl who had been his girlfriend the whole time’

0/10 for this guy. Please don’t be this guy.

‘Got a text a few days after the first date saying he’s got a court case with his ex’

Yep. Run for the hills.

‘Her ex came in and just watched as me and her are talking…he broke down and our convo was interjected with his loud sobs’

Not sure whether to feel bad for you or the ex, but I’d say both positions sound pretty terrible.

‘Told me he was waiting to hear from the police over an assault charge’

There are red flags and then there are RED flags.

So don’t be too hard on yourself about not having a Valentine for the sixth year in a row, because by the sound of things, you’re not missing out on much. Buy yourself an M&S dine in for two deal, a bottle (or two) of Echo Falls, and watch Bridget Jones’ Diary. And remember, it could be so much worse.