The 12 Days of Manchester

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Manc love gave to me…


Twelve useless Dominos vouchers I forgot to use in freshers week

Remember this?

Eleven flyers thrust in my face between the SU and Ali G

Get away from me

Ten straight days of piss rain and freezing cold

And not a Magic bus in sight

Nine emails from societies I signed up to at the freshers fayre  but never went to

Seemed like a good idea in September

Eight bags of dirty clothes for mum to wash over the holidays

I can’t work the washing machine

Seven January exams I will not revise for

I’ll start working soon, I swear

Six unit surveys to complete, which I will never do 

Let me think about it… no

Five essay deadlines due in Week 12

Kill me now

Four ridiculously expensive costumes to buy for Christmas socials

It was either the tiger costumes or our food for the week

Three secret Santa gifts I left till the last minute

What the hell do  I buy them?

Two cups of mulled wine at the Christmas markets, that’ll cost about 20 quid

I can’t afford a Christmas present for her now

And an overly-optimistic promise that I’ll work much harder in semester two

Meh, so tired