Sankeys: worth the hype?

You’d probably be ridiculed as a UoM student if you didn’t hear about Manchester’s devastating loss of Sankeys last year. But without getting involved in the anticipation of the club’s reopening, you may as well not live in Manchester.

Everyone knows Sankeys, because Sankeys is every student’s favourite place to go out… right?

Looks crazy

You have to get a taxi and actually pay for transport, if you’re not willing to use your bus pass to get to Piccadilly and walk for 15 minutes, meaning taking an extra jacket and paying the imbeciles in the cloak room to look after it.

But who cares about the extra hassle? It’s Sankeys.

Once you’ve got to the middle of nowhere, you’re then expected to queue for about half an hour, whilst being harassed by rowdy locals.

Loving the queue

Obviously, sobering up before you’re inside isn’t really a problem though, because it’s Sankeys.

Finally inside, excited to see all the changes that they’ve made (which happens to be just the moving of a wall and the DJ booth) – and you’re greeted by the longest queue for a cloak room that you’ve ever seen.

The disappointing revamp of the club clearly isn’t an issue though, because it’s Sankeys, and everyone loves Sankeys.

Unimpressed, but clearly loving Sankeys…

After all the waiting around, you’re either crazy enough to brave the extensive toilet queue, or you could wait it out and join the others performing the almost tribal “I-need-a-piss dance” on the dance floor.

No bother though, because it’s Sankeys, so you’re guaranteed to have a good night.

After failing to pull, you might want a commiseratory fag. Don’t leave it too late though, somehow they manage to shut the smoking area before 3am on a night that doesn’t finish until 5am.

Chin up, it’s Sankeys – you’ll clearly be having too good a time to want a cigarette anyway.

If you did pull, no point in getting her to text you, there’s so signal…

Clearly Sankeys has got something going for it, so if you’re willing to venture into another part of town and spend more than your average club night, maybe Sankeys is worth the media hype.

But really, it’s just another decent club in Manchester that manages to get good DJs to play and make a fortune out of students.