The election candidate who applied for seven exec positions – and didn’t get any of them

After a week of lecture invasions from hungry exec team candidates, the SU elections are finally over.

But aside from Harriet Potter’s magic slogans and Connor ‘Donkey Con’ McGurran’s monkeying around, there was one plucky candidate who you may not have noticed.

The SU needs this guy…

This lad put his name forward for all but one of the exec positions, wanted to give every student a free chocolate egg on their birthday and was apparently Time’s person of the year 2006.

Joe Clough – a ‘mechanical egg’ student according to his Facebook – had a very chilled out manifesto, and thought he’d have a go at getting 7 out of the 8 exec team positions.

He doesn’t look too confident

He had some absolute corkers on his profiles for the different officer roles.

“Students should vote for me because courgettes”, he said on on his Activities officer page.

“I will train an army of badgers to learn how to take notes for students and pass them on to students who have missed lectures”, he promised, on applying for Education.

And on why he thought he’d make a good Gen Sec, he declared “I think I would be generally good at this role”.

Puts Harriet Potter to shame

But how did he do when it came to counting up the votes?

Well the bad news is he didn’t get any of the positions he put himself down for.

But he did scrape an impressive 4th place for Diversity officer, and 5th place for Community.

Sadly though, he came bottom in two categories (Activities and Education), second from bottom in two (Campaigns and Wellbeing) and didn’t even make the top six for Gen Sec.

And here’s a list of his bizzare ideas:

The manifesto – makes him the only honest politician

Womens officer was the only job he didn’t go for, probably for good reason.

Joe did manage to get at least 100 votes for each role he applied for though  – and we’ll consider that a victory.

He’ll probably be back next year, so in 2015, remember – vote Joe for all the things.