FIFA is better than a girlfriend

Boys, we love FIFA. So, so much. It’s hard to put our finger on why, but it is a connection like no other, a love that has developed over many, many years. It’s always been there for you, and always will.

For those of you that are single, here’s a justification for being so. For those of you that aren’t, don’t forget the one who has been there for you since Michael Owen was an interesting person to talk about.

FIFA is ALWAYS happy to see you when you are home

No matter how your day has been.

HELLO AGAIN! LETSPLAYLETSPLAYLETSPLY

It comes with an Instruction Manual

Girls absolutely do not.

Rule number 1: When she says that everything is ‘fine’, it most certainly is not

A ‘quick one’ is enjoyable for all parties

Was it good for you?

It will always forgive you if you get caught offside

Girls will not.

A girlfriend will consider it weird to celebrate after a good finish

Even the Suarez dive/the Fish/the Brick Fall doesn’t get any approval

You get a newer, younger version every year

Nearly, Kolo, nearly.

An injury to an important member can be replaced by someone equally as potent in a jiffy

Goal Machine Sonogo, clinical as ever

Last minute goals are better than sex

Agueerroooooooooooo

No better feeling in the world. Left him broken.

You can share it with a friend

In fact, you are encouraged to do so.

When your batteries run out, you can just replace them

Will this recharge my batteries?

Finally, and most importantly…

You are always spending time with the lads

Post match man time

This article was originally published on The Tab Manchester.