The seven emotional stages of finding a space in Ali G

We have all been there. Woken up that fifteen minutes early to avoid having to stop at the swarming Owens Park bus stop, all to bag a space at the most bum out building on campus – the Ali G.

Feeling smug fresh off of your driver cruising past the hundreds gathered, you are ready to face the imposing glass structure that is the learning commons.

Ugh

Stage one: Hopeful and optimistic

And you’re pumped for the huge day of work that you’ve promised yourself you will get done.

Yeah guys, let’s do this!

Stage two: A little bit anxious

Oh shit, it’s busier than expected.

Not very promising

Stage three: That desperation/jealousy

“Does she really need a whole chair to herself?!”

Stage four: Actual anger at people unconscious in their space

GO HOME

…or using those study rooms to their advantage.

‘Is she really drawing a smiley face on paint?!’

Stage five: Reassurance.

You’re convinced that you will find a space. You just cannot bring yourself to leave feeling defeated after wasting nearly an hour stalking out the place.

Stage six: Taking out the competition.

Even a squeak of a chair has you ready to elbow out anyone clad with folders and pens.

Stage seven: Reduced to the floor.

It’s been a long day and you can’t face getting on the bus back home, so you settle for whatever you can get. Beggars can’t be choosers after all.

This counts as a space right?