Mother’s Day in Fallowfield: A Guide

Mother’s Day is coming up and most of us are down to our last fiver. This doesn’t mean you can’t show your appreciation to your darling mum. Here’s how you can pull off a perfect, heartfelt Mother’s Day that it sure to be unforgettable. (maybe for the wrong reasons)

Option 1

The Gift

Flowers are stupidly expensive, why bother buying them? Take a leisurely stroll in Platt Fields and pick some from the grass, it doesn’t matter if they die by the time you hand them over. It’s the thought that counts.

We found these beauties on Egerton Rd

If you’re too twee to rip flowers from the ground, buy your mum some seeds so she can plant her own. She’ll appreciate your gift in a few weeks.

DIY presents are more fun, mum

The Setting 

Who needs to go into town for a fancy, Michelin star dining experience when we have one in the heart of Fallowfield? Take your dear old mam along to Owen’s Park Dining Room for an exquisite banquet.

Quantity over quality seems to rule in this fine establishment so be sure to take full advantage of the salad bar and its many pasta-based experiments.

A truly wonderful experience

The Meal 

We’re not actually sure what this is. The cake looks okay though, probably. Thank you Owen’s Park.

Dig in mum!

Price: £1.50 (and consequences of possible food poisoning)

Option 2

The Gift

For this Mother’s Day plan, you don’t even need to leave the comfort of your own home. Show your appreciation by giving your mum something from your own wardrobe. She’ll never know – it’s “vintage”.

You have definitely not seen this before doing the laundry

One of us actually did this and got away with it. Lads, you might find this a bit more difficult, or not. We’re sure your mum would love a manky sweatshirt.

The Setting

Again, who needs to go outside? You’re paying rent for your own charming and cosy venue. Tactfully forget that your mum may have helped pay for said venue, clear the two weeks worth of dirty dishes from your table and set up a perfect meal Jamie Oliver would shout pukka at.

Pulling out all the stops

The Meal

Think Owen’s Park is a little too unrefined for your tastes? Not to worry, there’s a truly special establishment over the road. For this part you may have to leave your house for approx. 10 minutes. You can do it. We believe in you. Head to Kebab King and treat your mum to their world (Fallowfield) famous chips and gravy.

Bon appetit

If you say it’s a Mother’s Day Present, Paz will probably throw some more chips in for free. Get in.

Price: £4 for x2 chips and gravy

One of the most important parts of Mother’s Day is the card. You can’t forget the card. Unfortunately, to buy a Mother’s Day card in Sainsbury’s you pretty much have to take out another loan. Or sell a kidney on the black market. Why not channel all those hours watching Art Attack after primary school and make your own?

Fuck you moonpig

A stamp is 64p, and optional. Just scan your card and e-mail it to your mum. Or just take a picture and send that. So thoughtful.

So humble

Price: 64p (optional)

Now there’s no excuse not to treat your mum this Mother’s Day.