Gaff’s Facebook statuses are worthy of the Manchester Poetry Prize

Within the murky depths of South Manchester lies a wonderful, indescribable urban haven that goes by the name of Fallowfield. A place we’ve all learnt to live in and love, a place we call home, a place with comforts like nowhere else.

Comforts like New Zealand Wines with its dirt cheap wine and Chester’s with its red salt… and then there’s Gaff’s. The establishment, the myth, the legend. There’s a famous saying along the lines of “there’s no place like home”, but we all know it should be changed to “there’s no place like Gaff’s”.

Sure, you get your nos there. And yeah, they sell questionnable substances like synthetic coke in equally questionnable bags alongside your weekly groceries. But that’s not all Gaff’s is good for. They also do really really good Facebook statuses worthy of recognition akin to the likes of Chaucer and Larkin.

And for those without the privilege of reading their daily poetry, here’s a few of the best:

I mean, who wouldn’t?

Cheers to that

Gaffs, making upholding human rights since day

Yeah, Abdul

Who needs modafinil when you’ve got Gaff’s?

I mean, sure

But drum and bass is funny though

Who needs the Bahamas when you have Fallowfield?

F.Y.I.

Just in case

Pass the balloon, Granny

Luke Skywalker, come on down

Gaff’s <3 Techno

Brb

Watch out for the gestapo though