What to watch next on Netflix according to your degree
Shoutout to my parents for still letting me use their Netflix password x
When you have a long list of uni assignments and you don't know where to start, it can all get a bit overwhelming. Obviously, the most sensible thing to do in this situation is to tackle the problem head on and get straight to the library, but you didn't click on this article for studying advice, did you? When it comes to procrastination, you cannot go wrong with Netflix.
From the moment you press play until the moment the Netflix asks: "are you still watching?" to remind you what a pathetic slob you truly are, all your worries are swept aside. However, like all good things, Netflix binging sessions too must come to an end. When you finally unbury your head from the sand and realise that your deadlines are now even closer than before, the guilt and regret hit you like a tonne of bricks. Ergo, the cycle continues.
I'm here to tell you how to bury yourself deeper in the regret and shame of procrastination through a very scientific analysis of what shows you should watch on Netflix, according to your degree.
English Literature: Pride and Prejudice
Although reading Pride and Prejudice may be a better use of your time than watching the film, the on-screen version of the Austen classic has one thing the book does not: Kiera Knightley.
For those of you who would prefer to marvel at young Colin Firth, there is also a six episode BBC adaptation from 1995 available on Netflix, in which he portrays Mr. Darcy.
Geography: Planet Earth
There may not be an episode about oxbow lakes yet, but the word 'earth' is in the title, so it is definitely geographic. Besides, there is no better way to fall asleep than to the sound of Attenborough's wise and soothing voice narrating Planet Earth. David can also silence the angel on your shoulder telling you to turn off Netflix and get started on that essay. In fact, how does anyone get anything done now that Planet Earth is on Netflix? And how did they get that footage?!
History: Schindler’s List
A classic. Just in case you are not depressed enough already about the amount of essays you have to write this semester, Schindler's List will give you something to cry about. Watching a film about the horrors of the Second World War will give you some perspective and make you feel silly for stressing out so much about that deadline.
Languages and Linguistics: Blue is the Warmest Colour
Whichever language you are studying, the French film Blue is the Warmest Colour is worth watching even if you are only there for the seven minute lesbian sex scene. The erotic, coming-of-age film also treats important themes such as feminism and social class, but the best bit starts at 1:15:05 (FYI). And don't worry, even if you admit defeat and turn on the English subtitles, it still counts as uni-related.
Law: Legally Blondes
You probably ended up here, reading a Tab article at 3am about how to procrastinate from the Law degree you've grown to hate, by being misled by Reese Witherspoon in the original Legally Blonde that embarking on a study in law would be fulfilling, personally developing, and involve lots of small dogs and pink handbags. You were wrong, property law is dry and dead, you think you saw a dead rat on the way to uni, and the last time you saw a hint of colour was on a Powerpoint.
Fear not! The sequel, Legally Blondes, portraying Elle Woods' twin cousins, is here to save you.
Maths: Good Will Hunting
Starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams and Ben Affleck, Maths has never been cooler than in Good Will Hunting. Even if you are still waiting for your genius to be discovered, you can live life through handsome onscreen mathematician Will Hunting and fantasise about growing up to be just like him.
Medicine: Doctor Who/ Doctor Strange/ Doctor Foster
House M.D or Grey's Anatomy seem like the obvious choices for Medicine students, but the inaccuracies of a hospital drama will only infuriate you. We all know how excited you are to to call yourself 'Doctor' one day, so why not watch Doctor Who, Doctor Strange or Doctor Foster ? Watching Dr. Geller in Friends is an another option, but why are we suggesting procrastination to you, anyway? You're meant to be learning how to save lives so we don't all overdose on ketamine or fall into a ditch. Take one for the team and get the books back out.
Philosophy: The Good Place
''What happens to us when we die?'', ''Do heaven and hell exist?'', ''Am I a good person?'' If you're constantly plagued by these existential questions, you're either a Philosophy student or a stoner. Set in a fictional afterlife, Netflix original The Good Place offers alternative answers to all the big questions. The whole series stinks of 'watching this would be better if you were high.'
Psychology: Mindhunter
Based on a true crime book, the series Mindhunter is about the introduction and development of FBI criminal profiling. It is chilling and gripping and the perfect excuse to spend ten hours in your bedroom. When your undergraduate psychology degree lands you a criminal profiling job at the FBI, you will be ready.