The Tab’s guide to the perfect election banner

In case you weren’t already aware (how?) it’s election season at UEA. Campus is filled with union hopefuls handing out wads of leaflets and, if you’re lucky, the occasional cookie! However they may differ in policies there’s one thing all our candidates can agree on; they love a banner. Whilst we’ve been catching some sun between lectures we’ve found ourselves surrounded all sorts of colourful D.I.Y creations. It’s impossible to avoid them so we may as well just embrace them. Rip up a bedsheet, grab yourself so duct tape – this is our guide to making the perfect election banner.

#hashtag 

If we’ve learnt anything from Obama it’s that if you want to win an election you’ve got to be a master of Twitter.  Good policies might seem like a sound idea but if you really want to prove you’re the hippest of the hip candidates then you’ve got to have your own hashtag. Make sure it contains your name and some kind of witty pun – the youth of today will love it!

Our UEA faves – Holly Staynor’s #hollywould and Rachel Knott’s #whyknott

Think outside the square

Any old idiot can put a banner up in the square it takes a real political mastermind to think of all the other wonderful places you could put a banner. Outside the library? Hanging between two trees at the lake? Attached to the back of a plane flying over the ziggurats? The possibilities are truly endless.

Our UEA fave – Emma Gladwin’s bike banners

Do your D.I.Y

More than anything else election time gives you an opportunity to show off your creative flare. Channel your inner Picasso with some poster paint and duct tape. And remember when it comes to campaign banners; the wonkier and more ill-fitting your lettering the better.

Our faves from UEA: Dolly Ogunrinde’s tie dye spectacular

Face for a banner

Have you got an awful wardrobe? Or particularly questionable facial hair? What some people may see as a hindrance we see as an opportunity to advance your political career. Base your whole campaign around that dodgy jumper you wear sometimes. You’ll become instantly recognisable and you won’t be able to stop the electorate talking to you about your policies. Anyone who doesn’t vote for you is just jealous of your beard.

Our faves from UEA: Danny Gottschalk’s mane and Yinbo Yu’s suave bow tie

Be boring

If you’re not fond of the glitter glue or you have a tricky-to-rhyme name then this tip is for you. Sometimes less is more. Tell people your name and what you’re standing for. You might not be memorable but by gosh you get the job done efficiently.

Our fave from UEA – All the rest of them