We asked you how well-endowed UEA students are

Luke, first year, International Relations

“UEA is bigger than average. Looking round campus there’s a lot of skinny jeans. It’s not about size though. It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion in the ocean. The truest fact is: small fits all.”

Ollie, second year, Business Management

“Having a guess – I think UEA is average. That’s good enough for any girl.”

Daniella, first year, Law

“UEA is just right. It does the job – nothing special.”

Ross, first year, Modern Languages

“Four-and-a-half to five is average, but I don’t know how to measure  that with my hands.  I think UEA is bigger than average though.”

Chloe, first year, Nursing

“UEA is smaller than average because it’s got a lot of footballers. If there was a lot of rugby it’d be bigger than average – rugby boys are massive.”

Raj, first year, American Studies

“UEA is just average.”

Amy Bullock and Emily Hanson, first year, Adult Nursing

“Eight or nine inches? People who come to UEA are average, they’re just going to be average.”

Ally, first year, Nursing

“It has to be more than three inches, otherwise I wouldn’t go here.”

Aidan Nicholas, first year, Philosophy and Film

“Mine’s 6.2 inches. I’ve only seen three penises. One was way bigger than me, one was smaller than me and one I couldn’t tell – it was floppy and he was having a poo.”

Jenni and Nas, graduates, English Literature with Creative Writing and International Relations,

“UEA is smaller than average – it’s inbred. I’m going to guess four inches. I would say we’re nicely on average because Norwich itself is flat.”