Vote for UEA’s most eligible bachelor: Heat three

The third and final heat has arrived. That’s right, 15 more hopefuls have been nominated by their friends who think their bantastic mates have got what it takes to become UEA’s most eligible bachelor on campus.

Have a gander, and vote for your top pick. The top four from each heat will go through to the final, to take place next week.

Tom Moore

First year, Biology

“Being a biologist, Tom is a fine specimen when it comes to looks. He loves to bust some moves on the dance floor of the LCR, but you can also find him watching Made in Chelsea by the fire. He loves pirates of the Caribbean, and if you’re lucky you might be able to see his treasure! He’s a great sailor, singer and has a cracking sense of humour – what more could you want? What he lacks in height, he makes up for with his massive…”

Daniel Jarred

First year, Computer Science

“The man. The myth. The legend. This naughty Norfolk lad can be seen every Tuesday and Saturday at the LCR, pursuing his next suitor. With his striking good looks, large biceps and his incredible stamina, Daniel Jarred is the man for all those single ladies who want a good night out and a even better night once they’re back.”

Aaron Cawdron

Second year, Business Management

“Does he need an introduction? I’m sure you ladies have already been introduced to Aaron through him sliding into your DM’s. Don’t let his charismatic and lovely nature fool you. This boy has every intention of sliding into other matters… You’ll often find the predator preying at mercy on a Friday night whilst taming his ‘lady of the week’. Don’t let this devilish side put you off however. A weekend with Aaron is one you’ll never forget. We’re talking 5* hotels, michelin star restaurants, and what more can a lady want then a trip on his very own private helicopter. This eligible Bachelor has it all bar a lady that can tame him.”

Daniel Parsons

First year, Mathematics

“Daniel is an absolute looker who can definitely pull off the side-burns. He’s a ladies man and is only ever seen on campus in the company of multiple girls. I’m sure Daniel could show anyone a good time with his cracking sense of humour.”

Harry Howell

Second year, History and Politics

“Not only a history and politics student, so he can impress your parents at the dinner table, this boy is the full package. Having the charm required for Men’s Hockey Social Sec he is known for his slotting and slut dropping abilities, but keep an eye out for his silky steps in this years UEA Strictly. As Green Days biggest fan he can serenade you with any song of your choice, preferably from the American Idiot album. Better move quick ladies this gent usually has a queue waiting for their trip to Turtle Bay.”

Julius Lloyd

First year, Business Management

“Let me start by saying this truly is a man of many qualities. Boy let me tell you this fella has travelled the world making him a very cultured and experienced gentleman. He’s always up for a good night out or even a casual stroll by the lake feeding the ducks (probably one of the best days at uni the day he took me) and while I could go on for days describing this phenomenaI geezer, I just don’t have the time. Check him out he’s defo got it in him to be the most eligible bachelor, what a guy!”

Max Lang

First year, Business Management

“He’s wanted to be a model for as long as he can remember; he came out of the womb posing. Please give him the opportunity to be UEA’s bachelor, he’s already chosen his outfit for the winning ceremony as pictured below.”

Loui Brogan

First year, Economics

“If any lady wishes to turn the 5 L’s into 6 then Loui is your man. He comes from Windsor, he’s studying Economics, he probably votes Conservative… Any gold diggers out there, Loui is there to be used and abused. He goes to the gym twice, not once a day and is looking for a fellow gym goer to work on his pelvic thrusts. Its all about the gains with this Arnold Schwazerneger, whether it be his biceps or bank account… He is the Mark Francis with spandex. And dont worry there shall be no DMC’s round the lake, he likes to keep things simple and secret… Whilst self proclaiming, “he is not a fuckboy”. He needs your vote ladies… No one is safe, look what happened to Larry Lamb!”

Alex Thomas

First year, Drama

“Alex Thomas also known as “BIG AT” not only has a big heart but also a “big package” according to the ladies of UEA. He would add a very absent northern flair to the competition and captivate the hearts, minds and imaginations of Norwich.”

Jacob Rumley

First year, Economics

“The names Rumley, Jacob Rumley. Tall, buff and handsome simply do not do this man justice. A smooth operator who is looking for a heart as big as his, and that’s not the only thing big about him. He is often described as the Cristiano ronaldo of pulling, he has a success rate of 99.9% and needs to be taken off the market so other lads actually stand a chance.”

Lucas Toledo

First year, Economics

“One of the most unique selling points for this eligible bachelor is the fact that he actually has a girlfriend who he loves dearly and is very loyal to. The natural disposition of this stunning 10/10 lad is that he has an unfortunate condition whereby his heart is too large and his love too all-consuming for any one guy/girl. Therefore he needs many other girls to feel completely fulfilled romantically, making him one of the most eligible bachelors on campus.

Lucas cares for his lovers with the warm embrace of a mother hen, yet displays a ferocious vigour in bed that can be compared only to a proud lioness on the prowl in the wild. Lucas isn’t fussed whether his lover be a girl or a guy, just that they mirror the same love and passion that he has to give. *WARNING: He has a fragile heart and it wouldn’t do for him to be caught in any emotionally scarring encounters such as a one night stand; a Toledo is not just for Christmas.”

Ed Capstick

Second year, Law

“This guy’s the real deal. Whether he’s slaying the Sportspark’s helpless weights down at the gym, or expertly necking a frosty one on a Friday afternoon, he does it all with grace and style. Sporting a strong beard game and a naughty fade to boot, he does nothing by halves. He is the author of famous novel ‘Fifty Shades of Gains’, and is most definitely an all round top guy.”

Alex Morgan

Second year, Biology

“You may recognise him from UEA’s ‘Take Me Out,’ where he performed a touching rendition of Justin Bieber’s ‘Love Yourself’ on his French horn, but unfortuanately wasn’t lucky in love. Maidstone born and raised Alex Morgan is a living ledgend. If he’s not playing 8 ball pool in the library then you’ll see him dancing on broken dance mats in the LCR or front flipping off the balcony whilst simutaneously downing 4 VKs. Ladies, trust me, Big Al won’t dissapoint.”

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