Would You Rather…?

Clean Lizard Lounge toilets for a week without getting paid

Few students clubs are strangers to putrid vomit and other rancid bodily fluids. But Lizard Lounge, by attracting clientele whose diet rarely deviates from Rustler burgers, Pot Noodles and incredibly cheap drinks deals, has some of the vilest specimens of gravy-like diarrhoea, vomit, semen, blood, snot and sweat splattered in its toilets. Would you rather clean these portals of filth after closing time for a week, without getting paid?

The terminus of all manner of liquids

OR

Eat Jason Donnervan three times a day for a fortnight

So often thrown at the back of peoples heads or puked up in the mouth of a disgruntled one night stand, most Jason Donervan products avoid the scrutiny of sobriety and daylight.  Students must know how piss-poor the food is, despite the fairly cheap prices and affection in which it is held among most triangle-goers; no one eats there unless they are battered and dejected. Eating it once sober would be traumatic enough, but would you rather eat there exclusively, breakfast, lunch and dinner, for a fortnight?

Good Morning… Students aren’t renowned for excellent diets, but would your gut ever forgive if you deprived it of nearly every nutrient you required and instead dropped this synthetic horse manure down your gullet thrice a day?

You choose:

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