Future BNOC in booze-fuelled roof rampage

A previously squeaky clean straight-A student has been ordered to do a good deed by a judge after he was caught having a pissed up jaunt across the roofs of Kingsdown.

Sebastien Haw, a 19-year old, will be studying English Literature at Bristol later this year (future BNOC anyone?), his father is a top paediatric heart surgeon. He was caught by police last year after he climbed up scaffolding attached to a five-storey terrace on Somerset Street and broke into several buildings.

Thankfully Haw didn’t climb up here.

Initially charged with attempted burglary, he eventually admitted three counts of damaging property on September 24 last year.

Judge Julian Lambert (cool name) was both appalled and concerned with Haw’s irresponsible piss artistry. Lambert gave Haw three months to improve his behaviour and said he would consider conditional discharge if he could prove he had not drunk any alcohol, could prove he had done a good deed for someone “less privileged” and could show to the judge three letters of apology to his victims.

Judge Lambo laid down the law when he told Haw “If you cannot behave in drink you must not drink. This is a message to you that you must not drink.” How our future fresher will follow this advice when he is dragged to Syndicate next October we can only guess. 

Haw, who has 8 A* at GCSE and 2 A* at A level, admitted causing £600 pounds of damage during his drunken rooftop ramble. This included accidentally letting a pigeon into a hotel room (the pigeon promptly shat all over the furniture) as well as damage to a skylight and some chimney stacks.

Letting Haw off by making him promise to do a good deed, Judge Lambo told him “To say you were out of it is an under-statement.”