The Cantocks Steps are ridiculously hard to walk up

They’re the worst steps since H was in the charts.

As I study law, the bleak mass of concrete which is the Chemistry building was unknown to me for quite some time.

However, a cruel twist of fate has resulted in me having to go there for my second year lectures. This is when I first discovered my foe.

They’re the Devil’s work

The Cantocks Steps may look quite harmless to the uninitiated, but don’t be fooled by the well-placed shrubbery.

The steps have earned the nickname “The Steps of Indecision”, largely due to the difficulty in deciding on the way in which you’ll conquer them.

Some students decide to attempt the “two at a time” technique. Unfortunately, the architects who designed the Cantocks made each step as long as the queue for Syndicate on a Friday (which, for some odd reason, is really long).

Unless your Mum mated with a Huntsman spider, nobody’s legs are long enough to take two Cantocks at a time.

What I’d look like if my mum mated with a spider

Instead, most students resort to travelling down the steps as quickly as possible.

This approach is possibly best, as although it makes you adopt a bizarre gallop at least the humiliation is over quickly.

A casual gallop

What were the architects thinking? They probably envisioned a deranged grand national, consisting of frantic students charging towards Chemistry, eyes ablaze with anger at the impossible steps.

Perhaps it is irrational to declare a staircase an enemy. But the next time you descend those troublesome steps, remember this: if your Mum had bred with a spider they’d be way easier to climb.