15 ways to live your uni life on the edge

1. Cause a comMotion

Next time you’re at Motion, don’t print your event ticket and leave home with just 20 per cent battery on your phone. Nothing says living life on the edge like potential rejection and a trek back home from the wavy warehouse in the middle of nowhere.

If my phone dies, hopefully my garms will get me in

2. Refuse to read

Go to a seminar without doing the reading and make eye contact with your tutor as much as possible. Your lack of knowledge will trigger a fear-induced high second to none.

Bore me later Blackboard

3. Boldly Bluetac everything you own to the walls

Bluetac where no one has bluetacked before, i.e anything and everything. Your landlord will probably be so jealous of your exhilarating lifestyle they may even fine you.

Gripping stuff.

4. Dodge your deliveries

When ordering things online, don’t specify what flat/floor/house number you live in. That way you’ll have no idea when, or if, your parcel will arrive.

Still waiting…

5. Deceive the Domino’s people

The next time a night out on the Triangle turns you into a hungover and regretful mess, order a Domino’s and give them a fake name. It will never fail to get your vodka-wounded heart pumping.

They don’t domi-know my name is actually Rachel

6. Hot-box your room in the most hazardous ways possible

If you already dare to smoke in your room, next time cover your smoke alarm with tights rather than socks for some extra suspense.

My windows aren’t open either

7. Cultivate mystique with your emails

Leave the subject line blank on all your emails. Your account will question your daring decision but you click that “Send anyway” button then sit back, relax and feel truly alive.

Soon I’ll have a reputation

8. No change in your pocket, no change in your underwear

Always spend your change so when it comes to doing your laundry, its a gamble whether you’ll have the right coins or not.

That’s the money shot

9. Re-create Bunker in your room by staying in bed

Once you’ve finally realised Bunker is shit (yes, I’m looking at you Stoke Bishop), choose to spend your Monday nights in your own BED with your duvet upside down so the buttons are by your face. The adrenaline rush will soon have you sweating as much as Bunker’s walls.

The best poppers I’ve ever had

10. Aggravate the ASS librarians

Never look when your library books are due, just guess. Then when you feel its time to let someone else read them, return them to a Science library as a gentle reminder that the Arts are equally important.

Chemistry will love this one

11. Always pull out too quickly

No, not what you think kids – pull out your memory stick without clicking eject for that real sense of rebellion.

I can’t be tamed

12. Be unexpected

Tell people you’re going to make lists of 15, then stop at 12.