A final list of quotes overheard in Bristol this year
‘Ketamine absolutely ruins the taste of pheasant’
James HealeIt's been a helluva year at Bristol. Snow, strikes, an earthquake- all we needed to complete it was the biblical plague of locusts and frogs.
Along with the ongoing controversies of mental health and pastoral care, there were exams, balls, emotional leavings, LSTD and a snow drenched ski drip alongside the ritual traditions of hall parties and Triangle club nights.
Such a hectic term is surely responsible for creating a bumper crop of ingenious quotes from the wise and witty students of UoB. After five editions of 'Overheard in Bristol', sit back and enjoy the last one of 2017-18 to round off the year in suitably enjoyable style….
Drugs
"Who needs cocaine when you've got Wetherspoons?!"
"Gonna bang an ibuprofen" "Don’t double drop" "Yeah. hope the come-up isn’t too bad" "Sounds a bit next…imagine if a foreigner heard this leng"
"… which is why that house on Hanbury Road has a xan ban"
"I'm a middleman not a drug dealer"
Spring rituals
Returning from Easter: "I’m afraid I left my Thorntons egg in my second home"
On the ski trip: "The bus driver thought we were really good at sleeping but we were just on Valium"
On the ski trip: "In Tiger they had different drinks deals including flashing, giving them your used g strings and taking off your bra for them to keep. I would as long as I wasn’t wearing Victoria’s Secret"
"Got a few deals waiting to come through so Ascot is going to be bloody expensive"
Poshness and privilege
"Say what you will about nepotism but it got me my foot in the door"
"I’m seeing three guys from Harrow but none of them are posh twats though"
From a crying girl in Spoons: "I wish people would stop saying I don’t have a student loan and am privileged. I do have one but it’s unlimited and from my dad so it’s the same thing! I suffer and struggle with money too and no one seems to care"
"Everyone in the ASS has Stockholm Syndrome for capitalism"
Bonus round: Overheard in Wills
"I should really start bringing my truffle salt to breakfast"
"The first time I used that Orwell book was to do lines off it for my 21st birthday"
"Ketamine absolutely ruins the taste of pheasant"
"Hiatt Baker is just so BTEC"
In conversation with the vice-chancellor: Evelyn Welch on her second year at Bristol
Lola Wright‘Let’s work on the little things that make a difference to everybody’s day to day life’
Eight alternative spaces to study that have more vibes than the ASS
Isabel DurhamWhy are you reading this and not your seminar prep?
Protest in support of David Miller marks the beginning of his tribunal against Bristol Uni
Tom Pickering‘Hopefully the tribunal will make it clear that he was a victim of unjust dismissal’
Bon Voi-age: The top 10 things we’ll miss the most about those red scooters
Olivia HillAs we watch Voi scoot off into the sunset, lets look back at some of their most iconic moments
University of Bristol collected £28,000 from students last year in noise complaint fines
Sapphire Hope‘It feels like a money-printing machine and frankly, theft’
Which meal deal should you get and why, based on your first-year accommodation?
Jemima SuttonBristol needs to get a meal deal society asap
Voi e-scooters set to leave Bristol this Friday
Daisy WiggThe iconic red e-scooters will be replaced by the green WESTscoot
UWE student charged after allegedly defacing Bristol Uni building during Just Stop Oil protest
Ben Meehan, 21, has been charged with criminal damage
UWE student arrested after painting Bristol Uni building orange in Just Stop Oil protest
Joe PinnerThe 21-year-old film student was arrested on suspicion of criminal damage
Bristol Uni student’s car goes up in flames in the middle of the night
‘The fuel tank ruptured, and it started exploding’
Student protestors call for ban on meat and dairy from all Bristol Uni catering
Climate activists urge the University of Bristol to switch to 100 per cent vegan catering
Avoiding Freshers’ Flu: A handy how-to guide for final years
Matt CarverI do not have time to be sniffling through my 9ams and neither do you
The Bristol Tab wants you: How to become a new writer
Head on down to our open meeting at 5pm on Tuesday 3rd October in Senate House
Pro-choice campaigners deface anti-abortion stand at Bristol Freshers’ Fair
‘It was really weird that there was not a single female face on the stall’
Sex Education season four: All the moments to catch Bristol Uni
Honor WolstencroftCan you spot the Wills Memorial Building and the School of Chemistry?
Here’s what each type of Bristol Uni society says about you, and why you should join one
Annabel MackenA comprehensive list of the society stereotypes you’ll run into at Bristol University
Breaking: Bristol UCU calls off strike action for first week back
‘We are really pleased that Bristol UCU has decided not to take part in the national industrial action planned for later this month’
Lessons every Bristol fresher learns in the first week, from a second year
How to ace your Freshers’ Week like you’ve done it all before
Bristol University ranks 16th in the Good University Guide 2024
The Daily Mail University Guide ranked Bristol 12th, whilst the Guardian placed the university 17th
New Bristol Dental School officially opens in Temple Quarter
The new facilities mean the number of student dental admissions will increase 25 per cent
Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
Emily SmithThere have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
Hayley SoenThe drama really never ends!
Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore
Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Ellie RingGive this man all the baguettes
Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these
Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight
Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
The incident was caught on camera