Manc Wank Prank

Another Uni has been added to the list of not-so-subtle masturbators. Lovely.


Students at Manchester have been asked to stop MASTURBATING in showers this week.

Yet another university has “been asked by staff” to refrain from five-knuckle-shuffling in shower facilities. In 2010 it was Durham, and in 2011 it was St Andrews.

Now in 2012 Manchester have added their pearl to the necklace of sheepish students caught red handed with their trousers down and egg on their faces.

In a message supposedly from the accommodation management, residents of Oxford Road halls were warned of drain blockages caused by semen.

Dishonourable discharges

Students have been asked to masturbate in the “comfort of their own rooms” instead of in showers and to “dispose of the discharges appropriately.” That’s something we can all learn from.

Some are not quite so understanding. Chris Hallam, third year Manchester economist said “I can see where the authorities are coming from, but there’s just so much top class gash in Manch that you can’t help but whack one out in the shower… Or at the back of the bus… Or in the club toilets!” Easy there, Chris.