How to enjoy Valentine’s Day in Glasgow

Valentine’s Day gets the worst press. Everyone complains about its cheesy red roses, pink teddy bears, glittery cards and general mushy fuzziness. But I don’t know why. Single or not, you should never have a bad Valentine’s Day, it really is one of the best holidays. So here’s why everyone should love Valentine’s Day, and all the wonderful local things you can do with your day:

Everyone should love Valentine’s as much as I do

Get to your local Supermarket ASAP

OK, this is an obvious one, but extremely serious nonetheless. It is suddenly very ok to go into a supermarket and buy yourself a king sized box of chocolate, because a) it’s on special offer and b) it totally looks like you’re buying it for someone else, regardless of if you are or not, so no cashier shame. And no one will judge you when you trek down Great Western Road with more goodies than you can handle. Go on, treat  yerself hen.

Has the Byres Road Tesco ever been so pink?

Go out for food

Supermarkets aren’t the only ones who go for special V-day offers, most restaurants will offer some kind of set menu that makes dining an actually affordable and semi-fancy experience for a change. So if you’re hungry bring a friend, S.O, family member or pet, who actually cares, you’ll probably get a glass of Prosecco for good measure too. Why not pop along to the Grosvenor? See the pretty Ashton Lane lights twinkle in the night sky and try not to vomit at all the locals snogging on the cobbles. Delightful.

Yummy

If you’re in a relationship, it’s treat day

It’s time to get spoiled with little gifts and generally feel all warm and fuzzy. Plus you get an actual card from an actual human who fancies you, not from your mum/auntie/grandpa who has signed it with an x because they feel sorry for you. Just please don’t be one of those annoying couples who post on Facebook about your gifts, you’ll make the singles cry.

If you’re not in a relationship, it’s still treat day

Think of all that money you’ve saved buying stupid things for someone who really doesn’t need them. Instead you get to use that money to treat yourself, buy yourself some new shoes, you deserve them. Or go to Vodka Wodka with your gals and get so MWI you can’t even remember your own name, yet alone the fact it’s Valentine’s.

#ballin

Pets need love too

If you have a pet and spend all year trying really hard to hide the fact it really is your best friend, today is the day. It’s time to dress up your pug in stupid heart ear muffs, or pink welly boots. No one can judge you, you’re just spreading holiday cheer. Take your pink friend to Kelvingrove and hope it’s not snowing. Again.

Who needs a significant other, when you have a pug?

There’s no better excuse for a movie night

If you are a closet 76-year-old who likes nothing more than a cuppa and a blanket while watching a classic chick flick, tonight is your night. You officially have the ultimate excuse to Bridget Jones and chill, no one will shame you, they will simply understand, and probably think it’s because you’re sad (but who cares, you’re really, really not.)

It’s also a great excuse for a girls/lads night out

If you are not of the 76-year-old blanket persuasion, don’t fret, tonight is your night too. If you’re a single lad I really don’t have to explain why you’re gonna love tonight – single girls and booze. But if you’re a single lady you actually have so much more to be excited about. Grab you’re best single girl friends, fumble into your best party gear, put on some Beyonce and drink rose wine like there is no tomorrow, because if I’m honest, tomorrow will probably be quite rough. It’s a Sunday, so head to Bamboo for £1.50 Drinks and lots of overdressed people and men with too much cologne.

Oh hey

You can listen to Mariah, Taylor and Beyonce on repeat

It is the one day of the year you can truly indulge all your guilty pleasures. Whitney, Mariah, Taylor and Adele were all made for today, play them with pride, but try not to cry. Your flatmates will probably judge you.

Nobody judges you for being single

It’s an urban myth that somehow walking outside on Valentine’s Day opens you up to a world of PDA loving couples staring at you and pitying your obviously single state. Firstly, it’s a normal day, people have things to do, if they’re single or not, life goes on. Secondly, not holding hands with someone does not automatically brand you with a large facial tattoo that says SINGLE in capital letters.

Absolutely fabulous

No one will know, or most likely care, so chill, go strut down Uni Avenue and show everyone how fab you are.