Why people should stop using Tinder

Technology has given us many things – the contactless card reader, the iPhone and your Gran’s kindle.

Those are innovations that have both enriched our lives and caused the older generations to become very confused. However, there is one thing that the inter-web has given us which might not be having such a positive impact – Tinder. The excessive use of the dating app shows no signs of letting up and may be having a negative impact on how we interact with others.

Will this kind of intimacy be a thing of the past?

Having been on only two cinema dates (terrible films both times), and only a few girlfriends to my name I felt there was no better candidate for the task of trying out Tinder for two weeks. Look on the bright side – I’ve never had to pay the bill for someone who just wasn’t that into me. Result!

At first I started being very fussy, looking at everyone’s bios to gain a little bit more insight to each person. This lasted about five minutes. Before I knew it my lazy tendencies got the better of me and I began swiping girl after girl like I was on a killer run on candy crush and not with an app involving real people. Some success came, but unfortunately I don’t think the first four people liked my Shrek gifs. After a few stilted conversations, I began to realise how my anonymity online was effecting how I treat people. Instead of actually talking to people normally I would send a Spongebob meme or make up a terrible pun based on their bio. Most of it was (sort of) in good taste, but only led to three numbers across the whole two weeks. Two of the numbers then turned out to be duds and you could’ve got more chemistry out of the third by just staring at the periodic table…

Leave that thing face down

During the two weeks, I realised thousands of profiles were at my fingertips, but so many that one individual rarely stood out of from the pack. People became pictures, nothing more. Interactions became trivial, easy and devoid of any real connection or purpose. People tried to create the best first impression possible by obscuring part of their face or by putting a fancy filter on because they thought it would make them look better. There was a real sense of dishonesty and self consciousness pervading every swipe, and so I uninstalled it.

Ditch the app

Now I’m not going to throw in the doomsday scenario and say Tinder is going to make “normal” dating as attractive as that toilet in Trainspotting. But if everyone starts using dating apps like Tinder then what happens to us going out and meeting people the old fashioned way? All people really desire is connection, and Tinder seems to create very little connection outside of using up your Wifi. If every person is served up on a Tinder-garnished plate right from the comfort of your student flat, then why bother strutting down to Viper to try out your new chat? Even “fuckboys” in the flesh might become a thing of the past – a harrowing thought I know.

Uninstall that orange devil, whap out the tequila (for some dutch courage) and make that English lecturer you fancy proud by getting out there and actually using those words you were taught… Just don’t ask them if they want to come back to your swamp.