It’s time for the fourth edition of Glasgow’s Love in Lockdown

The juiciest edition so far

4 years ago

Guides

This is the fourth edition of the Love in Lockdown series where we speak to students about their dating experiences during the pandemic. This week we spoke to Dorothy, 20, who studies Life Sciences, and Anthony, 20, who studies English Literature.

What was your love life like before the pandemic?

Dorothy: “I was in a relationship for three years, which ended the summer before I started uni. It had a bit of a toxic ending: I was stressed over my A-levels and asked to take a break for a week, which he interpreted as me dumping him, so he went and cheated on me with my pal. 10 days later I went on holiday with this same pal, which was interesting to say the least. When I got back, he cried his eyes out and begged for another chance. We lasted three months until I just run out of trust and dumped him. Two weeks into uni, I shagged a boy on my course, and I didn’t do much else. I think I spent a while focussing on processing the break up, so I never got up to anything exciting beyond the occasional drunk pull in Sanctuary. I’ve never used dating apps.”

Anthony: “At the beginning of my second year, I ended a two year relationship, and it was here I took my plunge into uni dating. I’ll be honest, I didn’t get much action simply because I was not looking for it. All I cared about was having fun with my mates, and if the occasional Sanctuary pull happened, it happened, but it was never a priority for me. I just really enjoyed being single, focussing on my sport and focussing on my degree.”

Any spicy dating stories?

Dorothy: “In first year I was at a block party in Murano and got chatting to this guy. We went back to his room and 10 minutes into the sex, I couldn’t put up with any more of it so I got up, put on my clothes and left.”

Anthony: “Nearly all the times I did get a bit naughty was when I’d dressed up for a sports social. Drunkenly pulling off my own leggings is a bit of a mission, but one time we had an army themed social and I had camo face paint that just would not come off. I spent the night at someone’s and the subway ride home the next day had many a double take and stares in my direction because of the face paint.”

How have you found dating post pandemic?

Dorothy: “The day before Lockdown 1.0, I exchanged numbers with a guy at Corona Hive. Over lockdown, I was chatting to him, the guy I shagged from my course, and a friend of a friend. The last guy was quite wholesome, but with the other two a lot of sexting occurred. Honestly, sexting was what got me through lockdown. During Freshers’ I pulled a few GUSA boys. I turned down two separate offers for a threesome, which was somewhat of a missed opportunity. Anyway, I developed a friends with benefits type situation after Freshers.’ While this was going on, I shagged two other boys; alcohol had a large part to play in my decision making here. The highlight of the semester was when I got FOMO because three of my male friends all FaceTimed me from a different room of a flat, as they’d each shagged a different member of that flat. I think overall I’m just open to new experiences; I wouldn’t turn down a relationship if it happened, but I’ve yet to meet anyone who ticked all the boxes.”

Anthony: “I was forced to get Tinder. My friends were sick of me having no chat, so they chose the pics, wrote my bio and made me a profile. I really enjoy chatting to people, and Tinder is about the best we’ll get, so I’ve had a good time on it. I’d say in terms of shagging, recently I’ve fallen victim to “cuffing season.” There’s been a lot of chat about finding lockdown girlfriends/boyfriends, but actually meeting someone who I enjoy spending a lot of time with, both sexually and non-sexually, has been a real positive for me despite everything. It’s been fun finding new ways to date since normal avenues are closed off; the outdoors has a lot to offer.”

Any post Covid wild stories?

Dorothy: “I was at a party and friends with benefits guy was blowing up my phone and it was irritating, so I started ignoring him, because someone else at the party caught my attention. One thing lead to another and I shagged the party guy and later that day friends with benefits guy invited me over to his, so I ended up shagging two guys in one day.”

Anthony: “This year I’ve found that many of the social gatherings I’ve been invited to by mates have often ended with many of them coupling up at the end of the night for very casual hook-ups and then spending all of the next day together as part of a larger groups of friends. One night recently, I may or may not have hooked up with two girls at the same party and the there may or may not have been a few Glashoe posts written about it. For me this really reflects the nature of relationships in lockdown, that they have become increasingly casual and that hooking up with friends has become far more normalised and unstigmatized.”

How do you look after your mental health these days?

Dorothy: “Exercise is a big part for me, alongside seeing my friends. I like having a routine, so regular exercise helps me to keep my week organised. I also like to go to the library, mainly for seeing different people and getting out of my flat, as well as some occasional studying. A change in environment is great for my mental health.”

Anthony: “I think lockdown has given everyone a lot of time to take a look at themselves, and understand themselves more. For me, that’s been looking at what makes me happy, such as socialising and exercising, and prioritising those things. Also, dedicating myself to get 8 hours of sleep every night has also done wonders for how I feel day to day. I’m also a lot more patient with myself, and I set a time where if I’m not done for that day, I leave it for the next day. I always set aside time to unwind and plan the next day, so I know what I’m doing and I’m not stressed that things aren’t getting done.”

Do you find dry spells have an adverse effect on you?

Dorothy: “I’d say dry spells do have a somewhat adverse effect on me. I’m not saying I’m horny 24/7, but I feel the absence of sex if it’s been a while. Sex is always a good stress relief. I think also it’s just nice to have the option there, it boosts the self-confidence knowing there are people you could shag whenever you like.”

Anthony: “I was in a big dry spell for most of 2020. Did it affect me? No. Was I actively seeking partners? No. Dry spells are natural, everyone has them, but I think if they’re having an adverse effect on you, then that’s a really good way to see patterns in your thinking that you could improve. You should have a look at the factors that are causing you to feel a bit negative in a dry spell, and then see what other ways you can fix these factors e.g. if you’re lonely, maybe look to join a society or a sport where you can make friends first, who can help ease the feeling loneliness.”

What advice would you give to people out there looking for love in lockdown?

Dorothy: “Focus on building friendships first, shags come and go but friendships stay, and you can meet friends of friends that you might find attractive. If you have any interests, or anything you’ve always wanted to try, now is the time to do it. We have so much free time and everyone is open to meeting new people, so definitely put yourself out there and see what happens!”

Anthony: “Get outside your house and get outside your comfort zone. Lockdown has ruined conventional dating, so embrace the uncertainty and remember that everyone is in the same boat.”

Love in Lockdown is The Glasgow Tab’s series on dating during Covid, with articles dropping every two weeks. Wanna get involved? DM @thetabglasgow on Insta