We asked Lincoln students for their worst Tinder messages they have ever received

Once again we find ourselves in a national lockdown. So, you have likely either reverted to making that seemingly delightful whipped coffee off Tik Tok (if you can make it correctly) or downloaded Tinder for some ‘fun’. Once it’s downloaded you’re either greeted by someone holding a fish in their picture, people claiming they want ‘serious’ relationships or bad chat up lines.

But this is to be expected, you can’t complain, you knew what you were getting into as it’s all a part of the culture of Tinder. So, we asked Lincoln students their worst Tinder messages, and boy they’re so bad you might want to think of downloading a different app instead.

‘Are you a Terry’s chocolate orange, cos you look like you need banging on a table?’

I’ll never touch a Terry’s chocolate orange or look at one the same again, ever.

‘How’s my favourite toxic person?’

Red flag, I repeat, red flag. If you get this message, run a mile.

‘Roses are red, and so are your lips, you should sit on my face and wiggle your hips’

I think a bit of sick just came up. It’s a nice rhyme tbh, but it lacks quite a bit of originality though.

‘Roses are red violets are blue, I want to play hide the sausage in you’

Everybody loves a good roses are red rhyme, but maybe let’s stop it here.

‘I know you (kind of)’

That’s kind of creepy dude, unmatch.

‘Can you bend over and touch your toes?’

So what if I can? What’s it to you? Are you a gymnast or something?

‘You’re fit enough for a shag but funny enough to make me stay in the morning’

Slightly charming, slightly backhanded but we’re taking it.

‘My opinion on women after using Tinder has gone down a lot’

Well, that’s rude.

‘I’m a literal tourist in this town, I need bar/pub recommendations which ideally include you.’

Now this, it is practical, friendly and honest. Are you seeing this ‘roses are red’ guys?

‘I’d like to see Rhiann on me’

For context, she’s called Rhiannon, good play on words though I’ll give you that.

‘With that taste in music, I’d happily let you gaslight me’

What did they sayyyy???

‘🏀… Sorry my ball rolled into your inbox am I ok to come get it?’

Give me strength.

‘I’m sorry if I come across a bit weird but it’s hard for me to contain myself when I’m on the verge of exploding in my pants’

A) You do come across weird, very weird and B)  you might need to see a doctor about that.

‘You’re a really pretty girl, but I don’t think it’ll work between us, just because I’m looking for someone to get married and have kids with you know?’

That’s a backhanded compliment if I’ve ever heard one.

‘You are looking nice and round, the nose ring really suits you’

Nice and round? What am I, a green lady apple?

‘Would love to cover your face when you’ve got your tongue out like in the last pic’

That’s enough Tinder for one day.

To conclude, Roses are red, violets are blue if someone sends you messages like this, tell him “we’re through.”

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• The roadmap out of lockdown: Lincoln student edition

• Here all of the events happening in Lincoln this Women’s History Month

• We spoke to six Lincoln students on what International Women’s Day means to them