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Everything that will certainly happen on a spontaneous night out in Liverpool

“Look hun, the Baa Bar queue is too long”


We all know the story of a planned night out: sending the event info to the chat, convincing your mates that their 9am in three weeks really isn't that important, and accidentally leaving it until tickets are on fourth tier. However, what about when the night is organised at 7pm on a seemingly normal Wednesday evening? Don't kid yourselves folks, you can't leave that message from jagerbombs and quadvods on unread. Whether the night is successful or a shambles nonetheless, these are the things you can expect to occur.

You'll have no alcohol in the house

Not replenishing the vodka you drank before Lost a fortnight ago was a bad call; expect to scramble to Smithdown Asda and decide which is the best poison on offer. You may as well grab a pizza whilst you're there too, since preparing the lasagne you've had your mind on for weeks will be the last of your priorities.

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Get the vino in quickly

And also nothing to wear

No time to nip into Topshop now, you're gonna have to salvage an outfit from all the clothes that you already deem not your style anymore. Your hair may be slightly greasy, your make-up hastily applied and your eyebrows may look like they haven't seen tweezers in time but it's okay, you don't intend to pull anyway since it's not worth explaining why half your wardrobe is currently on the floor.

Pres will be a massive rush

No perfectly planned playlist of drum and bass or house tunes that match an event you're attending; it'll just be a weird mash-up of Drake, Spice Girls and Arctic Monkeys. Ordering Ubers will also be stressful af, realising you're one person over the ideal amount to fit in a taxi #typical.

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Fit in that photo-shoot too

Deciding where to go will be a nightmare

Of course it was too late to nab Heebies guestlist, you'll either have to settle for a cold queue or just another bar. One mate will pester for a rogue option (we're not dressed nice enough for Revs Charlotte), one mate will insist on a classic like Black Rabbit or McCooleys and another will probably just wander off to see what's going down in Soho. This is definitely the point where regret sets in.

You'll get the drinks in as soon as you're inside

Any tameness that can be associated with a planned night-out is out the window; who cares if you've only got £6.12 in your bank account, it's clearly got 'shots' written all over it. You'll stumble into the toilets following an embarrassing amount of rounds and sit there with the spins, wondering why you're more focused on pretending you're not a pisshead than actually passing your degree.

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It's always tequila time

You'll stay out way longer than anticipated

"Gals, we're leaving for Maccies at 2am" roughly translates to "I'm gonna be pouring my heart out to the Fusion bouncer come 4.30am". With an event you know when the party will come to an end, but Concert Square never sleeps. Well, until Spoons opens up again for breakfast probs.

Going for food will be the most pleasurable experience

Gathering your pennies together for a Krunchy Fried Chicken, and preventing your mate from necking a guy that she defo wouldn't fancy without beer googles, will feel truly euphoric. As you devour your fries and check for the next bus, you'll wonder why you don't forget your uni woes and just go out on the lash more often. You're only young once after all.

Nugs over boys

That'll all change when the hangover sets in

Never. Drinking. Again. After chugging your water and nibbling the last of your nuggets, you question if your immune system will ever recover. Discovering cute pictures and that you didn't text your ex will defo feel amazing, but knowing you'll never find a seat in the SJ now it's past 3pm will not.