It’s tough being Welsh at an English uni

Your rugby team is a joke.

Now that we’ve got that all out in the open, I’ve been living and st udying in England for the past 3 years and I’ve learnt quite a lot about your people. I’ve noticed more than a fair few differences between the English and the Welsh population, nearly all of them giving me the impression that you guys are actually all rude, selfish, ignorant and boring people.

The relationship between the Welsh and the English has been a torrid one for centuries, and elements of mutual mistrust or dislike are still common to this day.  On a daily basis I have to deal with racism and xenophobia from the English, such as stereotypical and completely unfounded allegations of copulation with sheep.

During my time in England, I’ve thought of a few possibilities as to why English men in particular feel the need to constantly try and tarnish my beautiful country’s reputation. One word which sums this sort of attitude up is called “Cymrophobia”, which in brief is the fear or hatred of the Welsh. Is this because we’re genetically better at breeding, or the fact England have a shambles we’ve got a Rugby team? Who knows…

Being born and raised in Wales I was brought up bilingual, learning to speak both Welsh and English fluently – two languages which I’ve continued to use constantly all of my life. Unfortunately most English people fail to understand the concept or the advantages of being able to speak two languages and I’m constantly being harassed as to why my phone’s default language is Welsh, or why I’m speaking to my mam in my first language on the phone. This lack of understanding for culture and historic traditions makes the English come across as rude and selfish, and probably explains why England is the world’s second most hated country (just behind the U.S.).

The most patriotic bedroom ever.

I’ve also noticed that when it comes to sporting events or just patriotism in general, England are pretty poor at it, and when I say poor, I mean awful. In Wales, we’re patriotic as hell, you can find a Welshman in the dingiest, darkest part of the world pretty easily – he’d be the one singing ‘Calon Lan’ at the top of his voice, whilst an Englishman will be the one shouting racial slurs at a barman before falling off his high chair. The irony.

What’s wrong with standing in the smoking area on a night out and singing the Welsh national anthem on your own to your heart’s content anyway?

Goosebumps.

People ask me all the time, if you hate England so much, why do you study there? Well, my first reason for studying here is, thanks to the Welsh Assembly Government many Welsh students (including me) get two thirds of their tuition fees paid by the government – something that doesn’t apply to any English student.

The second thing, English women love a Welsh accent. Suprisingly as much as English men have a primitive hatred towards us, their women melt and blush at the sound of a jagged Welsh accent mumbling “Shwmae cariad”. They also love a cwtch too.

The third and final reason for me continuing my studies here in England leans towards a more social aspect, we love to drink – and we’re bloody good at it. English men cannot drink for shit. Nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing the man across the table finish his eighth pint of Snakebite and scurry to the toilets to chunder, whilst you’re just starting to feel a little merry.

#awaydays

Also, I can pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch so please stop asking me.