Halloween: DOs and DON’Ts

So if you’re hitting the town this weekend for some Halloween fun, here are a few guidelines to make sure you don’t end up a) vomming in a gutter b) mortified beyond belief or c) in Durham prison.

Do come up with a fun and original costume. You don’t want to walk into a room and see five other people wearing exactly the same outfit.

Girls, don’t do a ‘Mean Girls’ and use Halloween as an excuse to basically go out naked. It’s freezing. You will be stuck in bed for the next month with pneumonia. It’s not worth it and remember, lingerie and a random halo or devil horns does not make a costume.

Do go all out. Fake blood, fangs, a fake axe coming out of your head. Really embrace the craziness and immaturity that is Halloween – why should the kids be the ones having all the fun? However…

Don’t go too far and actually stick a fork into your hand ‘just to make the outfit more affective!’ Just like pneumonia, it’s honestly not worth it

And on the theme of going all out: Do use face and body paint, it always looks effective, and the standard ‘smurf’ or ‘avatar’ costume just wouldn’t be the same without it. But…

Don’t forget to shower or wash it off before you get into bed, unless you want the pain of washing all your bedding the next day.

Do flirt with the Ron to your Hermione, the Joseph to your Mary, the moon to your sun, but make sure you do remove any masks before taking the flirting one step further. You never know who might be behind it.

Don’t steal chocolates and other loot of Trick or Treating children. It’s just not okay. They look forward to it all year as the one time their parents might actually let them eat so much chocolate they throw up. You have alcohol, they have chocolate. Deal with it.

Do make sure you plan to meet people before you arrive at a party, or get ready in a group. Nobody wants to turn up alone à la Lindsey Lohan only to find out that everyone else didn’t really get as ‘in to it’ as you did.

Do embrace your inner child. If people mock you, who cares? They’re only jealous that they aren’t having as much fun as you clearly are.

Don’t eat three tonnes of chocolate and then start on the alcohol, you are guaranteed to either feel like death and not want to go out or just throw up. Neither option seems that fun.

Don’t wear a really offensive costume. The chances are you’ll get punched.

If you’re planning on going out dressed as a pumpkin (because it’s just such a great idea), don’t make your costume so big that you can’t fit through the doors at Studio or on the dance floor at Klute. You’ll end up having a rubbish night, annoying everyone else, and don’t even get me started on how hot you’ll be.

And finally, do have fun. And if you aren’t Halloween’s biggest fan, remember, it at least means that we’re one step closer to Christmas.