SEX SURVEY RESULTS: Big clap for Sussex for having the highest percentage of STIs

4% of Durham students have been unfortunate enough to contract a sexually transmitted infection.

The figures, revealed in The Tab’s sex survey of 12,708 students across 36 unis, show we are one of the cleanest universities in the country – we come 24th in the STI league.

There’s trouble down south for Sussex students – they top the STI league, narrowly edging out Aberdeen and Northumbria.

Among the unlucky few who did catch something nasty, chlamydia was the most common by a long way. Four-fifths of students who’ve had an STI have found themselves with a dose of the clap.

We feel obliged to point out that 90% of people with Herpes are unaware they had it, so please get tested before filling out any more surveys.

The STI news follows Friday’s revelation that the average student has slept with nine people in their lives.

Our survey found Oxford Brookes students are the most prolific in the country – the polys bang an average of 14 people.

Coming in second are Plymouth with 11.5 sexual partners. We’ve heard it’s wet in the south-west at the moment, but Jesus!

Completing the ménage à trois at the top of the table are Liverpool – the city’s students putting Suarez and Sturridge to shame with their finishing.

The guys shag more than the girls – the average male student has slept with 10 people to the average female’s 7.7. If you don’t think you can have .7 of a shag, you’ve clearly never taken a rugby boy home.

A quarter of girls lie about the number of people they’ve slept with – 20% say they’ve slept with fewer than they have, whereas 5% bump their number up.

Of the 22% of boys who lie, 12% increase their number, compared to 10% who drop it. Yet again machismo bullshit winning through…

As with all Tab surveys, we urge you to take these results with a pinch of salt. Look out for part three next week, when we look at sexuality.

Want to join us for a cold shower after taking all this in? Email [email protected] to get involved.