How we pulled at the Grey fireworks

This weekend was all about fireworks, and what could be more romantic than a compressed amount of gunpowder exploding and making a large bang? We happened to be a little lonely over the past few days, so we made this guide will definitely help you pull the girl or boy of your dreams.

Choosing the spot

Hello it’s me

The right spot will undoubtedly set the right mood. Although opting for an actual fireworks display is okay, nobody wants to be part of a massive crowd when trying to light the fuse. If you had only just met the person, with the aid of alcohol induced lower standards and inhibitions, take them to somewhere high up and secluded.

Durham means Hill Island and so you will be spoilt for choice, perhaps the little known Wharton Park above the station will produce the panoramic views necessary to get things started. This way you could just bring the cheapest bottle of wine you could find instead of trying sneak it past fun-sponge security. Invested in a little bit of Adele and Jose Gonzalez to set the tone.

Waiting game

Settle down under a duvet for warmth, which can get dirty because you won’t be using it tonight, and wait for the fireworks to start. If you’re in the perfect position, with the perfect view, but there just wasn’t a distant burst of flares to tide over your potential lover, come prepared. Light up a sparkler, and spell out ‘let’s bang’ in the sky, they’ll love it, trust. Avoid at all costs hearts, penises, and writing “fuck” in sparks, sophistication is key.

Boom

The works

Now it’s time for the second most explosive event of the night. You can take a breather, shut up and watch them. After about five minutes, follow the next steps very carefully. Slowly turn your heads to each other, meet their eyes. At this point you’ll know if you’re in, or out, and if you’ll be shaking them all about. Tell them you’ve realise there’s something more beautiful next to you than a sky full of colours, and go in for the kill.

Grand finale

It’s sex

So here’s the awkward part. The fireworks have clearly drawn to a close and you quickly realise you’re freezing your balls/tits off on a soggy winters night. The night isn’t over but the entertainment is. It’s probably on both of your minds so don’t mess this up by trying to be smooth.

“I ruined my duvet… Can I use yours?” may not give off the right vibe. If nothing happens after a couple of seconds of reasonably comfortable silence opt for “I have more wine at my place”, this will make you sound sophisticated, and gets their mind on your bed. If they accept your invitation, you’ve made it: the explosions won’t just be in the sky from now.