The nine types of boys you will meet out clubbing in Durham

I don’t know how our ‘Dullham’ stereotype still exists when we’ve got these delights tbh

2 years ago

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Ask any Durham student and they’ll tell you that Durham guys are ermm, how shall we say, ‘unique’, with the ones in the clubs being no exception to that. Well at least they are disproving the dull out of ‘Dullham’.

We need all the help we can get with that. Let’s be honest though, all I want is night out without bumping in to one of these nine (actually annoyingly common!) stereotypes, but apparently that is too much to ask. As they say though, if you can’t beat them join them I guess.

1. The fancy dress fanatic

We all know that there is always *that* guy, the one who is dressed up in the most ridiculous costume for that most ridiculous social, but thinks he looks good. No you don’t. and neither do those stupid mismatching socks which you claim are a dress code to a secret society. Everyone else has moved on with their fashion sense. Clearly you haven’t.

2. The chain-smoking champagne socialist

The guy that spends the entire time in the smoking area waffling about his political views and how there should be an updated communist manifesto. Errrr ok. I’m going to start backing away slowly now. Until he lets slip that as long as it doesn’t affect his Kent residence, Yorkshire hunting manor and French Alps skiing chalet then it’s ok. Not impressive and I’m giving you 2/10 for your originality.

3. The true blue Hatfielder

The guy that tells you he is from Hatfield. Enough said. And yes I’ve noticed that you have a contactless signet ring and no I’m not impressed (ok maybe just a little bit). Only Hatfield.

4. The newly-single sad boi

The guy in the smoking area that ends up crying to you about his problems and turns in to a literal therapy session. I mean I genuinely don’t care that your girlfriend broke up with you three days ago, sorry.

5. College puffer or DU jacket purist

The guy that keeps on his puffer jacket even though its boiling hot and everyone else is sweating away. I mean I know we are in the North, but still I’m sure you can manage. Yes I know that you think that proudly displaying the Castle logo on the jacket is impressive, but it’s just not though. Try hard without actually trying – tick.

6. The cheeky clubbing rascal

The guy that decides to swing on the beams in Klute, automatically gets kicked out and then manages to sneak his way in about five seconds later. I’m just jealous that you can actually reach the beams tbh. As well as the fact that there is always that one bouncer who is secretly enjoying you pretend as though Klute is the gym.

7. The Paddy’s keen bean

The guy that is desperate to leave the club early so that he can get to the highlight of his night – Paddy’s. He’ll get there without the one hour plus wait you’ll be subjected to, because he got there so early he’s only the 30^th person, there compared to your order number 237. Great. Maybe he’ll throw you a curly fry on his way out though?

Please give me a chip? No he says.

8. The early burnout-er

The guy that is over enthusiastic at every single song and ends up crashing out at the final few bars of Sweet Caroline. Not even preeing on John’s eight for £10 Jager deal can keep him animated long enough to hear That’s Amore in Klute. We’ve all been there, secretly just waiting for 2am closing when it’s 1:58am.

9. The loving therapist

The guy that ends up being a total sweetheart and lets you cry on his shoulder about all of your problems and just offers good advice. We all need a gem like this in our lives.